The Day My Body Rocked Me Awake

My 2023 Kundalini Awakening Experience

In 2023, my body did something I could not explain.

It didn’t convulse.

It didn’t collapse.

It didn’t explode into chaos.

It rocked me.

Slowly.

Gently.

Like a mother soothing a child.

That was the day I realized something inside me had awakened.

This is the story of the moment my Kundalini rose — not in fire, but in tenderness.

I Wasn’t Chasing Awakening

I was grieving.

By 2023, my life had already been reshaped by loss.

I had lost loved ones to cancer.

My sister-in-law passed at just 40, leaving behind three children.

My father was gone.

Years earlier, my son Tysen had been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at nine years old — a moment that changed my nervous system forever.

I wasn’t trying to awaken spiritually.

I was trying to survive.

That day, I was sitting outside meditating because my heart felt like it was breaking open.

And it was.

The Moment Everything Shifted

I was sitting upright in meditation.

Spine erect.

Breathing through tears.

The sadness was heavy — not dramatic, just deep.

Then something unexpected happened.

My body began to sway.

Left to right.

Slow. Rhythmic. Gentle.

Not forced. Not intentional.

It felt like I was being rocked like a baby.

And in that moment, I felt warmth.

Comfort.

Presence.

It was so touching that I thought,

“One of my guardian angels is here. They’re rocking me.”

There was no fear.

Only softness.

Only being held.

What I Later Learned

Later, I would understand that what happened that day is often described in Kundalini awakening as a spontaneous kriya — an involuntary movement that occurs when energy begins moving through the spine.

Rocking.

Swaying.

Subtle spinal motion.

But at the time, I didn’t know any of that.

All I knew was this:

My body was soothing me.

In my deepest grief, something inside me rose not to overwhelm me — but to comfort me.

The Sacred Intersection of Grief and Awakening

Kundalini does not always rise in ecstasy.

Sometimes it rises when the ego is too exhausted to hold itself together.

Grief had cracked me open.

Motherhood had humbled me.

Loss had dissolved who I thought I was.

And sitting there — spine aligned, heart broken — my system finally felt safe enough to release.

The rocking felt like divine mother energy.

It felt like being held by something bigger than me.

But it also felt deeply biological — like my nervous system remembered how to soothe itself.

Maybe it was both.

Maybe awakening is both.

Was It a Guardian Angel?

I still hold space for that interpretation.

Because here is what matters:

It felt loving.

It felt warm.

It felt like I was not alone.

Whether that was:

• Kundalini energy rising

• My higher self stepping in

• Divine feminine presence

• A guardian angel

• Or my nervous system releasing trauma

The experience was sacred.

And it was real.

The Truth About My Awakening

My Kundalini awakening in 2023 did not begin with fireworks.

It began with heartbreak.

It began with surrender.

It began with my body saying,

“You don’t have to hold this alone anymore.”

That day was not dramatic.

It was intimate.

And it changed everything.

Because from that moment forward, I knew:

My body was not my enemy.

It was my guide.

If You’ve Experienced Something Similar

If your body has:

• Swayed during meditation

• Rocked gently without intention

• Released tears you didn’t plan

• Felt warmth and presence in grief

You are not crazy.

Sometimes awakening is not about ascending.

Sometimes it’s about being held.

Move gently.

Stay grounded.

Trust your body.

It knows how to rise safely.

Final Reflection

The day my body rocked me awake was the day I realized:

I was not breaking.

I was being rebuilt.

Not by force.

But by love.